My Heart: Creating in the Face of Fear
My Heart: Creating in the Face of Fear and the Power of Stories
I believe in people being free to be unapologetically themselves—celebrating racial, body, and ability diversity, and so much more. That belief shapes everything I write, but if I’m honest, my heart often feels afraid. Afraid to grow, to put myself and my stories out into the world, especially in a time where hate towards Trans and Nonbinary people feels louder than ever.
There’s something about us that makes some people recoil, resist, and hate. And yet, I know—deep in my heart—that we are LOVE. That truth should be enough to carry me, but the reality of the world makes me pause. How will my work be received? Will it be embraced, celebrated, and shared, or rejected, hated, and banned? And how do I prepare myself for the possibility of being banned?
The Fear of Being Silenced
I’ve read books that were banned. At the time, I didn’t fully understand why they were considered “dangerous” or “inappropriate.” I just knew they told stories that were raw, real, and eye-opening. They challenged me to think differently, to question the world I lived in, and to see people in ways I hadn’t before.
Those books shaped me. They shocked me, yes, but they also helped me grow. They opened my mind to perspectives I hadn’t considered and taught me to be more loving, more understanding, and more curious about the lives of others. They taught me that stories—especially the ones that make us uncomfortable—are necessary.
Banning books doesn’t protect people; it limits them. It stifles growth, understanding, and compassion. The very books that are often banned are the ones that push boundaries, spark important conversations, and shine a light on truths people would rather ignore.
A Word for Resistance and Resilience
When I think about my stories and the possibility of them being banned, I wonder how I would respond. I know how I’d feel—hurt, furious, and gutted. But more than that, I’d feel determined. Because while banning books tries to silence voices, it also proves that those voices are powerful.
In moments like these, I long for a word that captures the essence of surviving and thriving despite the fear of rejection. A word that means: to shine brighter when others try to dim your light. Maybe I’ll invent one someday—something that reflects the fierceness of Trans and Nonbinary people who continue to love and create in a world that tries to erase us.
Choosing Love Over Fear
For now, I hold onto this: We are LOVE. Every story I write, every character I create, every world I build—it’s all rooted in that truth. I write for those who see themselves in my stories and for those who are learning to understand. I write for myself, too, because being unapologetically me is an act of resistance in a world that tries to make me small.
The books I read growing up—banned or not—did more than entertain me. They taught me to love, to question, and to grow. And that’s what I hope my stories will do for others. If someone reads my book and feels the way I felt when I read those banned books—as though a door has opened to a new way of seeing the world—then I’ll know I’ve done something worthwhile.
Because in the end, the stories we tell and share are what make us better. And no ban can ever take that away.
